dude i'm inner monologue high
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
