I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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