Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I don't deserve a penis
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
