so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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