your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
