We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
