She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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