After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
