thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
