If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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