Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
