Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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