Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
