i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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