oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Randomize
