dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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