love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
