How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
