We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
