I hope mine doesn't look like that
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
