Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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