Having a random hookup so left but love u
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
