my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
