Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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