we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
