HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
NoShamevember. You game?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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