You work out of a Hotel?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize