Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
