sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
