lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
