I'm really into asian looking animals
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
