I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I need water and some morals
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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