After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
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Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
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He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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