quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
