i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
