My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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