Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
