What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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