help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
