The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
