after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Randomize
