I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize