Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
