D3 body, D1 cock
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
