you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
