i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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