on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
