omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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