I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
worst night to have a conscience
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Randomize
