I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
