you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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