what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
