You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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