You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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