You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
