Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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