Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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