I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
