Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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