My cat gives me a boner
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
