Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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